If the idea of the blog is to keep everyone back home posted of current developments, I have joined my college rowing team. Not to be confused with the University rowing team which is serious business lots of practice and required skill. The college is kind of beginner level, a bit of a change of pace from Auburn Swimming to St. Hilda's intermediate rowing. So far we have three practices a week, a few less than my swimming schedule....by about 7 practices. However, it is really fun. Waking up in the morning cycling down to the boat house and rowing into the sunrise is a refreshing way to start the day, not to mention the river is constantly teaming with swans, mallards, and geese. The scenery yesterday reminded me of being back in Virginia. Leaves Changing. Cows Grazing. Dew Forming. The water matching a greyish sky beginning to light with sunrise. It was a wonderful feeling, not so different than coming into the wall after a 200 free in the outdoor pool at Auburn and seeing the sun rise up over top of Jordan-Hare.
After attending practice with the Oxford varsity swim team I decided not to pursue my swimming career here at the University. Returning to the water, after eight months without swimming, was a bizarre sensation to say the least. I spent a lot of time after Nationals thinking about swimming, thinking about how I felt about it, how I acknowledged its power in my life, and how I relied on it for identity and security. I also thought about the feelings that I associated with my favorite times in swimming, and the feelings I associated with my lowest times in swimming. I thought about the incredible opportunities afforded me through my swimming career as well as the uncountable sacrifices I made along the way for the sake of competition. I considered the pressures that I mounted on my own shoulders, as well as those influenced by the team, the coaches, and the storied alumni that both haunt and motivate the lanes of Auburn. I thought about all of this and much more during the months following my swimming career and I didn't miss it at all, until I watched some of my friends compete last summer at Nationals. I watched the same people I competed with for years swim in beautiful strokes and for the first time I was on the outside looking in and there was a large part of me that longed to be in the heat racing as well. I missed swimming for every reason that could be thought of under the sky but most of all I missed the people that I trained with for years. I realized that what I loved most about swimming had nothing to do with the times, or the places, or the meets, or the training; though I loved and missed the experiences associated with these things. What I missed most was stretching on the pool deck and doing abs after practice while joking around with Will Dove, pushing through a hard set of weights after getting pumped up by Adam Klein, sitting in the shower talking after an exhausting butterfly set with Tyler McGill... I missed cooking huge breakfasts after practice and playing video games to bypass time during taper, sitting up late at night on the front porch and talking about good times and every other experience that really had nothing to do with swimming at all. I realized that times pass and places fade but friendships last forever and that was what swimming meant to me. I loved my time swimming at Auburn and I get emotional thinking about it sometimes, but I get emotional thinking about how much I miss my team. And when I was swimming in the water with the Oxford team that morning I came to grips with a lot of frustrations about swimming and not being capable of my past abilities. Swimming would never be like it was in Auburn and instead of trying to fake that it could be I would pursue something new and exciting that could define itself. So that is all to say.... I joined the rowing team instead of the swim team and it is great so far. I don't say any of this to express any dissatisfaction with the team here, or the coaching, or anything else associated with the Oxford team, its simply a personal thing and I am ready to try something new.
